photo courtesy of hannah (cheers!)
although i don't remember this particular photo being shot, i don't even remember us ever being this cool! perhaps the hair extensions were a little retarded.
its been over 3 years since galmi and still the memory of it remains hot in my mind. seeing this photo has that strange effect of inducing odd euphoric-melancholic feelings in my gut (its not the shirts...they're pretty gnarly eh?) . i just doubt that our presence there had any lasting impact on that land - rather its changed me more than i thought. the vastness of africa simply absorbed my ego like an m and m in a boiling vat of bolognaise. while there i thought i was doing some good. changing things with what little i had to give. the converse is true. africa has left its mark on me.
instead of invigoration or inspiration, a feeling of sadness has crept in - have i lost that zeal and enthusiasm that us physicians-in-training started with? i don't think i can blame the work load or the gruelling process of further specialist training - have i grown a brain too proud for self examination? is it better to criticise or accept without judgement? they say that ignorance is bliss. more than ever am i beginning to realise how apt that aphorism might be. debating the validity of mission work (and everything else) leaves me with a little sour taste. yes, i know that it is essential in particular situations - however i am also only beginning to learn how to suspend this function for the better experience of fun and humour. only now am i starting to realise that one can have both. i thought i had given up on returning there to galmi - now i wonder if going back would be a good thing?
Monday, July 21, 2008
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